Consumer Etiquette Part 3: Under The Influence

This particular group of consumers has to be one of the largest sources unnecessary stress and headaches for clerks, especially at supermarkets. I’m talking about alcoholics, junkies, and generally all intoxicated customers.

I’ve had my share of run-ins with this consumer group. (Read about the time I was Dealing with Shoplifters on Drugs…) That’ll just emphasize the words I’ll be writing here. I’ve been through MANY dealings with intoxicated customers, and I can safely say not one of them has been pleasant, as you might expect.

As I mentioned above, there are 3 separate groups of customers who shop under the influence: alcoholics, junkies, and intoxicated customers. It’s difficult to decide which ones of the three are the worst kind of customer, largely because they are fundamentally different. The one thing I can safely say though is that in general, any customer under the influence of drugs or alcohol is very likely to be the worst customer of the day.

Alcoholics are the people who’ll visit their neighborhood grocery store several times a day. They’re always one of the first customers of the day, they’ll be back a few more times, and they’ll also run in a few minutes before closing time, scared shitless about having to face the next 12 hours or so without alcohol. Sometimes they run out of money and are “forced” to steal beer. Luckily, they’re not exactly the fastest runners, especially when carrying bottles and cans of beer… They’re also typically very impatient, yet in no hurry. They love to chat (even when no one can understand a single word coming out of their mouth), especially to the clerk at the checkout counter, as well as with other customers who want nothing to do with them.
From experience, I’ve noticed that a substantial amount of alcoholics understand why you can’t sell them any alcohol when they walk (or rather stumble) in to the store, reaking of booze. So if you take away the unnecessary conversing, the foul stench, and the occasional shoplifting, they’re manageable.

Junkies, on the other hand, are worse. Sure, it depends largely on their drug of choice, but in general, they’re the people you don’t want in the store at the same time as you. They’re unpredictable at best. Note that I’m not referring to casual drug users, but rather the full-blown drug addicts. Obviously their drug of choice isn’t marijuana, ecstasy, or even aspirin. No, we’re talking about the heavy drug takers who are out of this world all the time, always looking for a bit more buzz. Severe drug addiction has the tendency to render the user completely socially inept. For them, such behavior as fighting, shoplifting, behaving in a disorderly manner and maybe even worse are typically either directly attributable to their drug use or just another way to stay high, keep the buzz going. The post I linked to above is an account of one such event when I had to deal with three shoplifting junkies (or narcs, as I like to call them) while working at a neighborhood grocery market last January. Let me tell you, it wasn’t fun. It’s one of the many similar events that I had to put up with there which made me not want to work there any longer. I do still run into the same junkies all the time, but they’re always too high to remember that it was me who sent them to jail… It’s really difficult to describe their typical behavior in the store, mainly because they’re so unpredictable. The only thing they have in common is the seemingly compulsive shoplifting, not just alcohol, but pretty much anything they could get money from to pay for their addiction(s). Really the only customers ever who I’ve lost my cool with.

Now, customers who shop while intoxicated. This group is a bit easier to categorize than junkies, although this could be pretty much any customer, of all ages. I’ve dealt with 80yr old grandmas slightly intoxicated and I’ve also dealt with 13yr olds who’ve had a bit to drink, rich and poor alike. The difficulty with these customers is just exactly when are they too intoxicated to warrant not being sold more alcohol to, in accordance with the law. (Intoxication can also mean being a bit high…) Usually, they’re not much trouble if they’ve only had a few. It’s when they’ve had a few too many, it’s pretty clear you can’t sell to them. Now, unlike alcoholics, these people usually can’t fathom the concept of being too drunk to be served alcohol. Sometimes they get angry, possibly even physically aggressive with the clerk if they can’t get that beer. “What the hell? I’ve only had one beer today!” It’s difficult to recreate the drunken slur and the smell of booze in writing…

Now, to make a few things clear. Many countries, if not all countries, impose fines on the clerk and the store which sells alcohol to intoxicated customers, to underage people, and to people who are evidently buying for underage kids. So if we think you’re too intoxicated to be sold any more alcohol, we won’t. Same applies to people on recreational drugs. It could be our job on the line, so I’m sorry if we ruin your evening. If you’re unsure whether you’re too intoxicated, try some tongue twisters like “she sells seashells by the shimmering seashore and the seashells that she sells are seashells for sure”. (We’re not looking for perfection here…) If you smell of booze, if you plus your words, can’t control the loudness of your voice, if you stumble instead of walk or otherwise have lousy balance, there’s a good chance you are not going to be walking out of the store with alcohol.

A single alcoholic, junkie or otherwise intoxicated person can very easily turn an otherwise normal shift sour. So don’t be surprised or offended if we’ve got our eye and security cameras on you from the moment you walk in. We’re just doing our job, and keeping an eye on the riff-raff and anyone suspicious is part of our job. Deal with it. If you behave nicely, don’t stand out, and don’t act suspicious.

Being drunk and disorderly in a store is one of the easiest ways to get barred from there.

So, if you’re an alcoholic, there’s usually no law prohibiting up from selling you alcohol, as long as you seem sober(ish). Just behave and don’t be drunk while shopping. Keep your voice down, and no, we’re not interested in your stories. Pretty simple, huh?

If you’re a junkie, just stay away. We deal with your kind all the time and will not hesitate to call the cops. We have security surveillance cameras, and the cops will get your description if there’s need. So please, don’t give up any incentive to do so. Leaving your bag at the cash register or in a locker is always a good idea. If you need food, your welcome to come shop. And that applies to any shopping really. Just don’t be high when you do your shopping. If you’re high, you’re really not welcome. Again, it’s that simple. Sorry if that’s prejudiced, but junkies don’t really have all that good of a reputation, do they?

Which brings us to every other person shopping under the influence. Basically, if you’re good to drive, you’re good to shop. At the risk of repeating myself, here are some very general tips on how to make your shopping experience work for you, the clerk and everyone else in the store if you’ve had a bit to drink:
-keep your voice down at an acceptable level;
-don’t bring any drinks into the store;
-no fighting;
-don’t start talking to other customers when you’re drunk. They don’t want to talk to you;
-don’t start chatting with the clerk. We’re not interested;
-if we decide not to sell to you, we won’t change our mind;
-begging, pleading, or bribing will not work;
-if you know you’ve had too much to appear sober, either don’t try to buy more, or ask a friend who’s more sober;
-don’t even think about stealing when we aren’t serving you, not a good idea.
It’s really difficult to determine whether or not a customer is too drunk to be served. Just follow the tips I’ve outlined above, be nice and courteous. Even if you seem a bit drunk, we might still serve if you were an easy and pleasant customer.

Everytime I talk about this kind of customers, I get all worked up. I’ve had so many frustrating, annoying, even threatening situations with customers who were under the influence. I’ve had really good days ruined by one bad apple. I’ve even received spoken death threats. All I am is a store clerk… Why are we a magnet for intoxicated people while we’re AT WORK? These kinds of customers really are the worst ones… It doesn’t have to be that way.

[<---Go To Part 2]
[Go To Part 4--->]

Part Zero: Introduction [16.08.2007]
Part One: What You Might Not Know [17.08.2007]
Part Two: Everyday People [18.08.2007]
Part Three: Under The Influence [19.08.2007]
Part Four: Children And Their Parents [20.08.2007]
Part Five: Senior Citizens [21.08.2007]
Part Six: Animals [22.08.2007]
Part Seven: Disorderly Conduct [23.08.2007]
Part Eight: Tips And Hints [24.08.2007]
Part Nine: For The Workers [25.08.2007]
Part Ten: Summary [26.08.2007]

If you have any comments, experiences or additions to this post, please leave a comment! Thank you in advance!