Consumer Etiquette

[NOTICE: DUE TO HAVING WAY TOO MUCH MATERIAL, WHICH WOULD HAVE MADE THIS THE LONGEST SINGLE POST ON THE BLOGOSPHERE, I HAVE STARTED A NEW BLOG CALLED THE CONSUMER ETIQUETTE GUIDE. EVERYTHING BELOW WILL BE EVENTUALLY EDITED AND REPOSTED AT HTTP://CONSUMERS.WORDPRESS.COM. DO CHECK IT OUT.]

If you’ve ever bought anything, the etiquette to be outlined here and in subsequent posts will apply to you. Everyone is a consumer, a customer.

In this series of posts, I will be outlining general behavior which is to be avoided when going about your shopping, along with tips on how to make the ordeal easier, faster, and possibly more profitable for you.

I work in customer service in Finland, and have done so for some 4.5 years, both in the restaurant (fast-food) business and in the retail business (supermarkets and other stores). I like what I do, and I like serving customers. I like my job. Usually. There are many kinds of customers who can really ruin even the best day at work.

I’ve split this installment into 10 parts, listed below (the introduction is part 0…):

Part Zero: Introduction [16.08.2007]
Part One: What You Might Not Know [17.08.2007]
Part Two: Everyday People [18.08.2007]
Part Three: Under The Influence [19.08.2007]
Part Four: Children And Their Parents [20.08.2007]
Part Five: Senior Citizens [21.08.2007]
Part Six: Animals [22.08.2007]
Part Seven: Disorderly Conduct [23.08.2007]
Part Eight: Tips And Hints [24.08.2007]
Part Nine: For The Workers [25.08.2007]
Part Ten: Summary [26.08.2007]

You can read each section on it’s own from the links above or the entire essay in whole right here. If you have any comments, experiences or additions to this essay on consumer etiquette, please leave a comment! Thank you in advance!

Part 1: What You Might Not Know

This section will cover a few little known things about working in customer service, things that the average consumer most likely doesn’t know.

Were everyone to know these things, it would save a lot of time and lessen the nuisance which the clerks have to deal with every single day.

So, let’s begin:

Don’t assume the clerk knows everything about the store and its items. Many customers assume this, forcing the clerk to pretend they know what’s being asked of them, when they really don’t. A larger supermarket may possess over 100,000 items on sale, some much more than that. It is humanly impossible for anyone to know the location of each items, how many are in stock, whether or not the store actually has a specific items, and especially what it costs. It smaller stores, it’s easier for the clerks to know where things are, but don’t expect miracles. What’s even more impossible is knowing the EAN code (the 13-digit code under the barcode) for each item. On numerous occasions a customer has brought an item to the cash which was missing the barcode, and then said somewhere along the lines of “it costs about 12 euros” or “just come up with a price and get on with it”. Knowing the price won’t help. If it’s a small store, we have to either leave the cash and go find the code (which we are not allowed to do in many stores), and in larger stores we have to call someone to go and find it. It will take some time, trust me. If you want to avoid this, check that the barcode is intact.

Sometimes the barcode itself might not work, meaning we have to really go out of our way to find out how EXACTLY we’re supposed to punch it into the cash register. Have patience. It is not your fault, and neither is it ours.

Typically, the people working in the store aren’t responsible for ordering specific items which aren’t in the store’s selection. So stop asking about it. We can’t really do much to get the items you need. Every chain of stores has one or more buyers who decide what’s in the selection and in what quantities. If you want something specific, email the corporate headquarters. The emails are typically available on the website of the specific store.

Many stores use temporary workers (temps) to cover for missing workers and busy seasons. There is a good chance that these temps or extras don’t know as much as the regular workers. Wait, it’s a given that these people don’t know everything about the store and everything concerning it. Have patience. Atleast they’re there so there’s more people there FOR YOU! (I work as a temp, so I know…) Everyone in the store has not worked there forever, so don’t even try to assume everyone knows everything…

If a clerk is trying to sell you extra items, telling you about deals, etc, don’t get pissed off at them. It’s just part of their job, and they might not even want to do it, but they have to.

Typically, the person at the cash is responsible for every single cent in their cash register. If they’re missing some money, they might have to pay for it out of their own pockets. So if you try to defraud the company, you’re actually fucking the person who’s behind the cash register. Same might apply to counterfeit money, depending on the store rules. If we find out that you have a counterfeit bill, or if our money checker machine says it’s counterfeit (notorious for false negatives, btw…), we won’t accept the money. We don’t want to answer to our bosses, nor do we want to pay it out of our paychecks. In Europe, we have the 500euro bill. That’s a substantial chunk of our paycheck…

Don’t ask us for discounts. Most probably, we aren’t allowed to give you a discount. In today’s world, every clerk has their own username for the cash register, and every single thing we do is registered. If we give you an unwarranted discount because you’re being pushy about it, we could end up paying for it…

If something used to be on sale and it isn’t anymore, we can’t turn back the clock just for you. Either pay the full price or don’t buy it. It’s your fault you came late and missed the sale.

If the store utilizes a bonus card, it’s your responsibility to give it to us at the right time. If you give it to us at the wrong time, too late, it means a lot of unnecessary work for us, and it’s not that easy to do either…

Speaking of too late, once the transaction is complete, don’t change your mind. It truly is too late. We CAN still change it, but once again, it’s a lot of unnecessary work, just because you made a mistake.

In large stores, there are tens of people working there at any given time. Everyone of these workers is responsible for a certain section of the store. For example, you might have people responsible for working at the cash register, or in the frozen goods, or the clothing section, or the electronics, or the non-food items, etc… Knowing this, remember that if you need assistance, ask the person at the particular section of the store, or ask someone else to get someone from that section to assist you. That way everyone wins.

If you’re underage and trying to buy alcohol or cigarettes, don’t bother. Please. We will ID you and won’t listen to any excuses for not having ID with you. Pleading to us will not work, because it is against the law to sell to underage people. We could lose our jobs, or even get a substantial fine. So we have to abide by the law at all times.

This one’s very important. We are humans too. Many of us don’t like working in customer service. For many it’s only a short time source of money. It’s an easy job to get, and young people need money. So have some respect when dealing with a clerk. He or she might actually be better educated than you, or working just to pay for college, or in between jobs, just trying to get bills paid. Regardless of who the person behind the cash register is, they’re still a human being, with hopes and dreams an aspirations. A little respect will go a long way…

And finally for this section, we’re usually only as slow as the customer we’re dealing with at the time…

Part 2: Everyday People

This section of Consumer Etiquette will deal with everyday people, every shopper in general. The following parts will touch more in depth about the fringe groups and other general group, such as senior citizens, drunks, junkies, kids, and so on.

Here I’ll outline a few do’s and don’t which everyone can apply to their shopping experience. The previous segment on What You Might Not Know covered a lot of things along these lines, so I’ll do my best to avoid mentioning them again.

We’ll kick off with a very negative behavioral attribute: Complaining.

Many, many people, from all walks of life, love to complain. Don’t get me wrong, in some situations it’s very beneficial and right to complain. Remember that the underlying motto of pretty much all customer service is “The Customer Is Always Right”. With prices being very similar in different chains, stores have began to compete with the level and quality of customer service. The problem arises when consumers abuse their privilege of receiving good service.

Too often people demand too much, thinking they’re entitled to a privileged position above everyone else. This is where the motto does not work. Yes, the assumption is that the customer is always right, but in reality, they’re rarely right. The whole concept is just a reminder to the clerks that the customer means more to the store than the worker.

Even with that in mind, one must remember not to take the motto literally. Most consumers are clueless as to how things work in a store (see yesterday’s installment for some things the average consumer doesn’t know).

This is where complaining comes in to the picture. People complain on a daily basis, all the time. If the average consumer had even an inkling of what is like to work in customer service, the world would be a better place, a more efficient place.

Most of the said complaints are ridiculous at best, things that the clerk cannot control themselves. One of the main complaints is about the amount of staff present to serve the consumers, i.e. the inadequate number of persons working at the checkout counters. This is not the clerks’ fault, so there’s no use in complaining about it. If the store happens to be understaffed, don’t complain to the clerk. Complain to management. It’s a business, and businesses are all about profit. Worker salaries are one of the largest drains of profit, so to make more money, management keeps the manhours at the bare minimum. Typically, the amount of hours for workers available is directly attributable to the same period of time the previous year. If at this time last year it was a quiet week, there’ll be less workers this year. Simple enough. If this means you have to stand in line a few minutes extra, that’s not the clerk’s fault.

Another redundant complaint to clerks is about the price of goods. THE CLERKS DON’T CONTROL THE PRICE OF GOODS! Once again, direct your complaints towards management if you think something costs too much. Oh, and telling the clerk that something costs too much and threatening that from now onwards you’re going to be shopping with the competing chain isn’t going to do any good. We just work there.

Closing times. If the store closes at 9pm, don’t even think about walking in 3 minutes before closing time to do your week’s shopping. The industry standard is that the clerks don’t get said overtime if they have to wait around for you to finish your shopping. Typically, we only have 15-30 minutes (depending on the store) after closing to serve the rest of the customers, close our cashes, take our money away (maybe even count the money), perhaps clean, get changed and lock the doors. We will not wait around for you. We have lives as well, you know…

If you’re in a hurry coming into the store, or once you reach the cash register, don’t whine to up that we’re slow and that you’re in a hurry. Just because you didn’t manage your time better, that’s not our fault. If you’ve got a bus to catch within 5 minutes of walking into the store, don’t assume that we’ll work twice as fast just for you. We’re supposed to treat each customer equally, and that means we’re not your personal slave.

Staying in the complaints department, we’re human and we need breaks. If we happen to close our cash to go on a break, don’t start complaining and demanding service right now, because you won’t get it from us. We’re entitled to breaks. Typically, when we go on a break, we’ve been sitting at the checkout counter for several hours or more, and really need a break. Same applies to closing our cash registers when our shift ends while the store is still open. Again, no overtime if we stay to serve you and the 20 people behind you who’ll also demand service if we serve you when we should be counting our money. No use in complaining and whining. We have lives outside of serving you.

Going back to waiting in line a few minutes longer. Even when there are plenty of cash registers open to serve you, you might have noticed that sometimes some lines move slower than others. We’re only as slow as the people in front of you. Granted, sometimes we make mistakes. Have patience, we’re human. We make mistakes. But, regardless, most of the delays are due to other customers. So once it’s your turn, don’t complain about us being slow when it’s clearly not our fault. Even worse, if you’re in line and it’s not moving, don’t scream at us to hurry up. We can’t move any faster if the person we’re serving is inept.

Going back to complaining about prices, let’s touch upon stingy people. It seems to be somewhat of a rule of thumb that the wealthier the customer, the stingier they are. It’s the man in an expensive Italian suit or the woman with diamond rings, bracelets and necklaces who complain about the prices the most and want stuff for free. I guess that’s how they stay rich I guess…

Conversing with the clerk may not always be a desirable thing. Sure, if you’re considerate and funny in a general way, just chit-chatting, that’s fine. Sometimes we really like it. Witty anecdotes are just fine. What we don’t like is jokers who don’t realize they’re not funny, the weirdos, and especially people who think we’d really be interested in their personal issues and life stories. We’re typically not interested. Especially if you start chatting to us about your hernia operation when there’s twenty people in line behind you waiting for their turn. If we start talking with you, the other people will complain.

Here’s one of my pet peeves. You don’t know the store rules concerning the staff and you don’t know how the cash register works. So don’t tell us to “just punch something in the register” when the code doesn’t work. We typically aren’t allowed to do that. Usually the cash register isn’t that easy to use or learn how to use. We can’t just “punch something” into the computer. It doesn’t work that way. You don’t know how it works, we know better. No, really. We know better than you. I’ll put it simply. You’re clueless. End of discussion.

Here’s a consumer quirk which is funny, yet somewhat annoying. If the store is to be closed for one day for a public holiday, people go nuts on the day before the store is due to be closed. Seriously, EVERYONE goes shopping on that day. This applies mainly to grocery markets. People, you won’t starve in one day. Oh, and here’s a hint: you know beforehand that the store is to be closed on a particular day. If you’re worried you’ll run out of food, PREPARE FOR IT! When the store is closed for the whole weekend, oh. dear. god… It’s just added stress for the clerks when you do this.

Being a guy, I almost forgot about this one because it mainly applies to girls. Men, DON’T hit on the female workers. They’re working. I’ve heard of very lewd suggestions that have been directed by 50-year old men to 19-year old girls at the cash in a supermarket. You have no chance with these girls. They’re at work, and they’re really not looking to find a date while at work. It’s sexual harassment. So don’t do it.

I can’t stress this enough. A little bit of respect for the person serving you will go a long way. We might even stay at our cash a few minutes longer to serve you if you’re nice, or we might give you a free bag or some other favor…

And concerning complaints, general complaints as outlined above are not the clerk’s fault, responsibility, or job. Direct those complaints towards management. If you have a direct complaint or remark about our performance, we’d like to hear it personally to be able to improve how we work. Oh, but please, please, be civil about it.

The customer is barely ever right. Sorry to tell you the truth, but unless you’ve worked in customer service, you have no idea.

Part 3: Under The Influence

This particular group of consumers has to be one of the largest sources unnecessary stress and headaches for clerks, especially at supermarkets. I’m talking about alcoholics, junkies, and generally all intoxicated customers.

I’ve had my share of run-ins with this consumer group. (Read about the time I was Dealing with Shoplifters on Drugs…) That’ll just emphasize the words I’ll be writing here. I’ve been through MANY dealings with intoxicated customers, and I can safely say not one of them has been pleasant, as you might expect.

As I mentioned above, there are 3 separate groups of customers who shop under the influence: alcoholics, junkies, and intoxicated customers. It’s difficult to decide which ones of the three are the worst kind of customer, largely because they are fundamentally different. The one thing I can safely say though is that in general, any customer under the influence of drugs or alcohol is very likely to be the worst customer of the day.

Alcoholics are the people who’ll visit their neighborhood grocery store several times a day. They’re always one of the first customers of the day, they’ll be back a few more times, and they’ll also run in a few minutes before closing time, scared shitless about having to face the next 12 hours or so without alcohol. Sometimes they run out of money and are “forced” to steal beer. Luckily, they’re not exactly the fastest runners, especially when carrying bottles and cans of beer… They’re also typically very impatient, yet in no hurry. They love to chat (even when no one can understand a single word coming out of their mouth), especially to the clerk at the checkout counter, as well as with other customers who want nothing to do with them.
From experience, I’ve noticed that a substantial amount of alcoholics understand why you can’t sell them any alcohol when they walk (or rather stumble) in to the store, reaking of booze. So if you take away the unnecessary conversing, the foul stench, and the occasional shoplifting, they’re manageable.

Junkies, on the other hand, are worse. Sure, it depends largely on their drug of choice, but in general, they’re the people you don’t want in the store at the same time as you. They’re unpredictable at best. Note that I’m not referring to casual drug users, but rather the full-blown drug addicts. Obviously their drug of choice isn’t marijuana, ecstasy, or even aspirin. No, we’re talking about the heavy drug takers who are out of this world all the time, always looking for a bit more buzz. Severe drug addiction has the tendency to render the user completely socially inept. For them, such behavior as fighting, shoplifting, behaving in a disorderly manner and maybe even worse are typically either directly attributable to their drug use or just another way to stay high, keep the buzz going. The post I linked to above is an account of one such event when I had to deal with three shoplifting junkies (or narcs, as I like to call them) while working at a neighborhood grocery market last January. Let me tell you, it wasn’t fun. It’s one of the many similar events that I had to put up with there which made me not want to work there any longer. I do still run into the same junkies all the time, but they’re always too high to remember that it was me who sent them to jail… It’s really difficult to describe their typical behavior in the store, mainly because they’re so unpredictable. The only thing they have in common is the seemingly compulsive shoplifting, not just alcohol, but pretty much anything they could get money from to pay for their addiction(s). Really the only customers ever who I’ve lost my cool with.

Now, customers who shop while intoxicated. This group is a bit easier to categorize than junkies, although this could be pretty much any customer, of all ages. I’ve dealt with 80yr old grandmas slightly intoxicated and I’ve also dealt with 13yr olds who’ve had a bit to drink, rich and poor alike. The difficulty with these customers is just exactly when are they too intoxicated to warrant not being sold more alcohol to, in accordance with the law. (Intoxication can also mean being a bit high…) Usually, they’re not much trouble if they’ve only had a few. It’s when they’ve had a few too many, it’s pretty clear you can’t sell to them. Now, unlike alcoholics, these people usually can’t fathom the concept of being too drunk to be served alcohol. Sometimes they get angry, possibly even physically aggressive with the clerk if they can’t get that beer. “What the hell? I’ve only had one beer today!” It’s difficult to recreate the drunken slur and the smell of booze in writing…

Now, to make a few things clear. Many countries, if not all countries, impose fines on the clerk and the store which sells alcohol to intoxicated customers, to underage people, and to people who are evidently buying for underage kids. So if we think you’re too intoxicated to be sold any more alcohol, we won’t. Same applies to people on recreational drugs. It could be our job on the line, so I’m sorry if we ruin your evening. If you’re unsure whether you’re too intoxicated, try some tongue twisters like “she sells seashells by the shimmering seashore and the seashells that she sells are seashells for sure”. (We’re not looking for perfection here…) If you smell of booze, if you plus your words, can’t control the loudness of your voice, if you stumble instead of walk or otherwise have lousy balance, there’s a good chance you are not going to be walking out of the store with alcohol.

A single alcoholic, junkie or otherwise intoxicated person can very easily turn an otherwise normal shift sour. So don’t be surprised or offended if we’ve got our eye and security cameras on you from the moment you walk in. We’re just doing our job, and keeping an eye on the riff-raff and anyone suspicious is part of our job. Deal with it. If you behave nicely, don’t stand out, and don’t act suspicious.

Being drunk and disorderly in a store is one of the easiest ways to get barred from there.

So, if you’re an alcoholic, there’s usually no law prohibiting up from selling you alcohol, as long as you seem sober(ish). Just behave and don’t be drunk while shopping. Keep your voice down, and no, we’re not interested in your stories. Pretty simple, huh?

If you’re a junkie, just stay away. We deal with your kind all the time and will not hesitate to call the cops. We have security surveillance cameras, and the cops will get your description if there’s need. So please, don’t give up any incentive to do so. Leaving your bag at the cash register or in a locker is always a good idea. If you need food, your welcome to come shop. And that applies to any shopping really. Just don’t be high when you do your shopping. If you’re high, you’re really not welcome. Again, it’s that simple. Sorry if that’s prejudiced, but junkies don’t really have all that good of a reputation, do they?

Which brings us to every other person shopping under the influence. Basically, if you’re good to drive, you’re good to shop. At the risk of repeating myself, here are some very general tips on how to make your shopping experience work for you, the clerk and everyone else in the store if you’ve had a bit to drink:
-keep your voice down at an acceptable level;
-don’t bring any drinks into the store;
-no fighting;
-don’t start talking to other customers when you’re drunk. They don’t want to talk to you;
-don’t start chatting with the clerk. We’re not interested;
-if we decide not to sell to you, we won’t change our mind;
-begging, pleading, or bribing will not work;
-if you know you’ve had too much to appear sober, either don’t try to buy more, or ask a friend who’s more sober;
-don’t even think about stealing when we aren’t serving you, not a good idea.
It’s really difficult to determine whether or not a customer is too drunk to be served. Just follow the tips I’ve outlined above, be nice and courteous. Even if you seem a bit drunk, we might still serve if you were an easy and pleasant customer.

Everytime I talk about this kind of customers, I get all worked up. I’ve had so many frustrating, annoying, even threatening situations with customers who were under the influence. I’ve had really good days ruined by one bad apple. I’ve even received spoken death threats. All I am is a store clerk… Why are we a magnet for intoxicated people while we’re AT WORK? These kinds of customers really are the worst ones… It doesn’t have to be that way.

Part 4: Children And Their Parents

In comparison to the revious section on customers under the influence, this particular consumer group is much, much more civil. We’re talking about kids, teens and parents concerning their kids.

Kids have the tendency to be an unruly group, even when they’re by themselves. A lot of their negative behavior in the eyes of store clerks can be summed up as “they’re just kids”, whilst some kinds of behavior can be directly attributable to what their parents have (or have not) taught them. In addition, there are some things kids do in stores that just aren’t right.

The first thing that kids need to learn as soon as it’s possible to comprehend such a concept is that stores are not playgrounds. You know the way kids behave at playgrounds? Well, that’s the way many of them behave in supermarkets, when they’re there without their parents. Hide and Seek, chasing after one other, yelling, screaming, running around bumping items off the shelves. All that’s behavior that clerks witness on a daily basis, all of which are just fine at a playground but sure as hell should not be done in a grocery market.

Kids, by themselves or with other kids, can very easily be categorized into two very different groups. On one hand you have the rowdy kids who’ll run around, scream, and misbehave, maybe even with a sour attitude even at a young age. On the other hand you have kids who feel intimidated by being in a store by themselves or with other kids, mainly without their parents, especially intimidated by any older person, be it the clerks or another customer.

Let’s focus on the first group first.

The running, screaming and playing games feature of their behavior is one of the most aggravating things that we as clerks have to deal with. Those are things that kids need to be taught that there’s a time and a place for that, but stores are NOT the place for them.

Running around in a store will very quickly end up in knocking things off a shelf or running into another customer. There’s a reason we don’t allow for it in stores, and it’s common sense.

The screaming and shouting, well, please do that outside. No one wants to hear it in confined spaces. The sound of kids joyously shouting and screaming at a playground is to many a nice, peaceful sound, but only outdoors and preferably not within four walls. So please, keep your voice down and WALK, don’t run.

Another comparison to playground comes in the form of loitering. Kids always hang out at the playground, even when they get older. A supermarket, or even the grocery store around the corner from your house is not the place to be loitering about. Those chairs you sit on and eat your ice cream are meant for people who actually need to sit down. What really gets on my nerves is having to keep tabs on which kid has bought what, because when loitering they love to walk back and forth past the cash register, with the candy bar or bottle of soda that they’ve bought. Just more unnecessary work for us.

The reason why we have to keep an eye out for the kids and what they’ve bought is because of shoplifting. There’s actually more of that than you would believe. I’ve seen an 11yr old girl being caught stealing 30some euros worth of sunglasses, just to give an example. That being said, remember back to when you were a kid. Is there a chance that you might have at one point or another stolen a candy bar or something like that? Yeah, kids steal stuff. It’s fun and adventurous. When you’re a kid. Not when you’re a clerk having to look out for these kinds of things. One very common scam made by kids is with pick ‘n’ mix candy. It’s so simple. Put candy in a bag, weigh it, then add some more candy, and go pay for the first price. Happens a lot. Some kids just aren’t that smart about it, or just plain greedy. A clerk will quickly learn the correlation between the weight of the candy bag and the price it should be. Oh, and just as a reminder, a candy bar in the pick ‘n’ mix candy bag kinda stands out…

All I really have to say to kids who try to pull this kind of things with the clerks is to remember that we were kids once as well. We know your schemes… =)

The shy and timid kids are a better consumer group, mainly because they actually seem afraid of the clerks. We’re not the boogeyman or anything… There’s no reason to be afraid of us. Then again, I do prefer that kind of behavior to running, screaming, stealing and just plain being obnoxious.

Above all, there are three things that kids do in stores that are pretty much guaranteed to drive any clerk bonkers:
1) Kids dealing with money. Many kids just throw the money on the table and then immediately, impatiently, extend their arm in your face, waiting for the change. That’s a whole lot more annoying than kids coming to the checkout counter with a bag of small change.
2) Playing with every item in the store. Newsflash! It’s not your room! The items on the shelves are not toys, no matter how inviting they are. Do have to say that by far the most annoying thing kids do is play with items which makes sounds or play jingles. You can test it out once, fine, but you don’t have to play them ALL, ALL the time, one after the other. One kid’s not that bad, but it’s never just one kid, it’s always many.
3) Not understanding the meaning of “No”. If you’re a kid in a store, and you misbehave, we’ll first tell you to stop. The next time we’ll tell you to stop or you’re out of the store. The third time you do THE SAME ANNOYING THING, we’ve had it. You’re out, and staying out. We might even tell your parents about it.

Speaking of parents, all three things I just outlined above, as well as many of the other things above them, also apply to adults. Oh, and teens as well.

Teenagers are not exactly the best customer group. They’re really just kids who look older. Many of the things that apply to kids apply to them as well, namely the loitering, the running, the screaming…

All of the same rules apply to teens as do for kids. It’s not your playground or place to hang around and do what you wish. But, being older, teens do have a few more liberties (read: more nuisances for the clerks).

One of the main liberties is the chance to buy alcohol and cigarettes (required age depending on the country). This is at the same time one of the most annoying things we have to deal with and also one of the few times we get to make the customer feel uncomfortable.

According to the law (again, depending on the country), all young people buying alcohol or cigarettes must present valid identification in order for the clerk to verify their age. Again, it’s the law, and we could lose our job and/or get fined if we sell alcohol or cigarettes to underage kids. With that in mind, anyone who seems, looks, appears, or acts like a teenager will be ID’d.

The excuses I’ve heard from teens trying to buy alcohol or cigarettes when being ID’d could cover volumes. The most typical one is “I forgot my ID at home”, but some are more creative, such as “But my birthday’s next Monday and I want to celebrate it now when it’s the weekend” and “I’m buying these for my dad, he sent me”. Ok, not that creative. My absolute favourite response to being ID’d was this kid asking me “Why?” when I asked for ID. Nevertheless, the bottom line is that if you appear young, you will be ID’d, and once we ask for ID, we won’t sell until we see that valid ID proving you’re above the legal age.

Oh, and here’s one thing teens don’t understand. If you’re of legal age to purchase alcohol or cigarettes, but your friends are not, leave them far from the store. We will ID ALL of you, and if even one of your group is not of legal age to purchase, we’re not selling to you.

Teens these days suffer from a severe case of possessing an attitude problem. Thinking you’re tough or that you’re cool won’t fly with clerks, so please, check your attitude at the door when you enter the premises. Remember, it doesn’t make you any less “cool” to say “Hi!” or “Thank You!”…

Finally, we reach the parental units. Most of the instances and behaviors I’ve outlined above can be very easily avoided with good, proper, parental guidance. When your children, be they kids or teens, are in a store by themselves, there’s a good chance that they will behave differently from the way they behave when with their parents in a store.

There have been a few times when I’ve barred several kids from the store I’ve been working at, mainly for doing many of the Don’ts I’ve outlined above, no matter how often the other clerks and I tell them to stop. Furthermore, I’ve once had to explain to a mother why her angelic little boy isn’t allowed into the store anymore.

If your kid get’s barred from a store, there’s usually a very good reason for it. Your little angel might not actually be as angelic as you previously thought. Unless you think that we’ve made a terrible mistake and can prove it, don’t come screaming bloody murder at us. We’re just doing our job.

As parents, you not only have the responsibility to teach you kids how to behave, but you also have the responsibilily to demonstrate that proper behavior. If you’re a nuisance of a customer, so will your kids be too. Control you kids when in a store. Show them how to behave. Make sure they don’t run around and pull stuff off the shelves.

Above all, if you’re kids are giving you a hard time and a killer headache, there’s no reason to infect us with it. You’re an adult and you should know how to behave and act. Just because your kids are pissing you off doesn’t give you the right to treat the clerks like dirt.

So parents, please, educate your kids, from an early age, how to behave when in a store. Remind them that it’s not their playground, it’s a place of business. The way you yourself behave in a store is a huge contributing factor to how they will behave in a similar setting. Remember that kids like to mimic their parents’ behavior, either consciously or subconsciously. The change and the social education begins at an early age, but it’s crucial that you yourself, as a parent, know how to behave in a store first. Otherwise your kids will learn the wrong way to behave, and we don’t want that, do we?

Part 5: Senior Citizens

The previous posts in this series have been directed at particular groups or kinds of people. This one is a little different. Yes, I’ll be talking directly to senior citizens, demonstrating how they are viewed as customers from the eyes of the clerk and yes, I’ll be outlining several hints on how they can improve their shopping experience, for themselves, for the clerks, and everyone else. What will be different here is that I’ll also be directing this segment towards all other customers, in relation to senior citizens.

The younger the customer is, the easier it is to educate them to distinguish between proper behavior in certain situations and what won’t fly. As the years pile on, social behavior becomes is more and more engraved into one’s persona, leaving little room for the possibility of learning to behave in a different manner. Senior citizens, and I’m essentially referring to anyone above the age of 65 or so, are by now practically stuck in their ways. One wouldn’t really consider this an issue, until you take into account two things:
One, whence you get old, the behavior you’ve exhibited over your life will be so engraved within you that it will appear normal to you. Not all grandparents are sweet old creatures. If you were a grumpy middle-aged person, you’ll be even grumpier when you’re older, and you’ll see nothing wrong with that. It’s how you’ve always been, so why would you change now?
Two, things in this world change constantly. Products come and go. Prices change as the economy rises or falls. Even currencies change. That’s life, times change. In today’s world that’s probably more evident than it used to be when you we’re growing up. What you must remember if you’re a senior citizen is that it’s not personal, and the clerk can’t affect that, no matter how hard you try.

Senior citizens, you’re one group of consumers who’s annoying habits are generally forgiven, solely for the reason that you’re old. That does not mean you’ll get away with everything. There are a lot of things you do, intentionally or not, which could easily be avoided.

I’m not talking about a few deficiencies which you possess, namely the fact that you move slow, you forget to weigh vegetables or forget to purchase items and then need to wander off to get them (ok, that one’s actually annoying), or the fact that you take a painfully slow time to deal with you money and packing. It’s ok, you’re old.

But, there are several things you do which more or less tick off clerks, and should be avoided. Starting with the very beginning of the day, before the store opens. I understand you have a routine to your days. Regardless, there’s no need to be standing outside the store half an hour before opening, peeking in through the windows or even knocking on the windows, hoping we’ll open earlier. I’ve once gone to the door when an elderly woman knocked on the window 25 minutes before I was to open shop. That was also the very last time I’ll ever do it. The exchange of words went something like this:

“Knock knock.”
Me: “Yes? Can I help you?”
Old Woman: “Are you open already? I’ve been waiting out here forever.” (Lights closed, doors closed, 9.35am)
Me: “No, we open at 10am.”
Old woman: “We’ll you’re open now, right?”
Me: No, we open at 10am. It says so on the door. Sorry.”
Old woman: “I don’t have all day to wait outside for you to open, so you’re going to let me in now, aren’t you?”
Me: “No, sorry, I can’t do open the store until 10am.”
Old woman: “I can’t wait that long, I have other places to go to.”
Me: “I’ll open the door at 10am when the store opens, just like it says on the door. See you then!” (I close the door.)
Knock knock.
Me:”You have got to be shitting me!” (I open door.)
Old woman: “I know you open at 10am, but can you let me in to do my shopping already? I have to be at [other store around the corner that also opens at 10am] when they open.”
Me: “I’m not allowed to let customers into the store before we open. We are open until 8pm so you have plenty of time to come by after you’ve been to [the other store].”
Old woman: “I don’t have all day to go around at stores. If you won’t let me into the store now, I’ll never shop at your store anymore.”
Me: “I’m terribly sorry, but I really can’t let customers into the store before we open. I don’t even have the cash register set up yet.” (Old woman walks away muttering to herself. The time is 9.50am and I’m in a hurry to get things done before I open.)

Since then, I pretend not to notice people knocking on the windows before we’ve opened.

By the way, the woman came back at 10.15am and spent over an hour shopping… So exactly why did I waste 15 minutes of my life?

I’ve never understood why old people wait outside the store forever before it opens, and then complain that we didn’t open the door for them when they got there, or say “took you long enough, I’ve been waiting forever.” People, the world doesn’t revolve around you. We have the opening and closing times on the door and we won’t deviate from them for anyone.

Other nuisances which senior citizens commit are a bit more annoying. Possibly the single most annoying thing is when old people start talking to you at the checkout counter, because they’ll go forever. If it’s a quiet day, we typically don’t mind the impromptu break. It’s all about the timing. When it’s really busy, there’s only one cash register open, and there are 14 people in line behind you, DON’T start chatting with the clerk. We have work to do, and we can’t just start chatting with you, leaving the other customers waiting. We’re not being rude, we’re at work and we have responsibilities to attend to.

Many senior citizens have the disillusion that clerks are their personal butlers from the moment they enter the store. In some stores, such as clothing stores, there are staff present who’s job it is to walk around with customers and provide assistance when it’s needed. Grocery markets or stores with very few clerks working at any given time, we cannot follow you around and attend to all your needs. We can help you if you have a problem or a question, but we have many things to do. We are not your slaves.

At this very moment, I can’t really think about anything else that senior citizens do that annoy me. I’ve contracted senility from them, I guess. There was something else, but it escapes me.

And now to the part where we start to talk to other customers about senior citizens.

There are some simple things you must remember. As simple as they may be, it’s actually surprising how often people seemingly forget these things. They aren’t as fast as you. They can’t see as well as you. They’re forgetful. And above all, it’s not the clerk’s fault, so don’t take your frustrations out on him or her.

Too often I’ve had customers yelling from the end of the line to hurry up, move it, open another checkout counter, and assorted vulgarities. I simply choose to ignore them when there’s really nothing I can do about it. I’m not going to start telling a feeble old customer to hurry up. I don’t tell any customer to hurry up. I can’t, and I won’t. The only thing I could do in this situation is call for assistance, but that’s not always possible. If someone doesn’t shout anything from the line, you know they’ll be snappy and bitchy when it’s their turn. How fun… And the funny thing? It’s no one’s fault! Well, except for the customer who has a problem with it…

In some stores, where the clerk who’s supposed to be at the cash register is also supposed to be stocking shelves and helping customers, there won’t always be someone at the checkout counter. ESPECIALLY if we’re helping out a senior citizen. We can’t be in two (or three) places at a time. So please, don’t walk off, and especially don’t start yelling for service. That’ll just make us move slower, because you’re not exactly being a desirable customer.

The bottom line is that although all customers are treated equally, there are instances when this is not true.

You’ll be a senior citizen one day. You’ll move slowly, your vision will be a little blurry, you’ll forget things, and you’ll need assistance to find the stuff you need. One day, you’ll be that slow person infront of others, slowing up the line. So have some patience with senior citizens. And don’t forget, it wasn’t the clerk that made them slow and old.

Part 6: Animals

One would assume that there’s no reason dedicating a section in this series to animals, as everyone knows the rules. In reality, the rules are too simple, and not everyone knows them, or chooses not to follow them.

The main rule thumb is basically common sense: don’t bring animals into a store. Yet, occasionally people forget about the rule or even better, assume it doesn’t apply to them and their lovely pet Dobermann called Killer…

So, I’m going to clarify and lay out the innards of this common sense rule, thoroughly enough that even the most simple-headed animal lover will understand.

Some stores allow pets onto its premises. It would benefit everyone if you either found out before hand or bothered to ask the clerk BEFORE you take your pet inside the store. Any store that sells or serves food will have a strict no animals rule, due to hygiene reasons. Again, common sense. You are not allowed to take you pet into a grocery market or restaurant, although special privileges may be given to blind people with seeing eye dogs or ponies. Again, find out or ask.

Other than food stores, many places may allow for small dogs or cats on a leash. Let me repeat that: SMALL DOGS OR CATS. Your Great Dane is not small, no matter how much you insist. Alternatively, you can always impersonate Paris Hilton and carry your little dog in your handbag, if you wish…

And it’s not just the size of your pet that really matters. Big animals are not allowed because they may knock items off the shelves or scare other customers. People can have allergies which prohibit them being in an enclosed space with your dog. Some people may be afraid of big dogs, morbidly so. And what if there’s another dog already in the store when you walk in? Dogs barking in an enclosed space with customers everywhere is not pleasant to anyone’s ears. The customers always come before the pets. So please, have some consideration for other people as well.

The weather outside is no excuse to bring your pet into a store when you’re not allowed to do that. Be it cold or hot, that doesn’t change the rule. Some of the excuses I’ve heard are “it’s really cold outside and I didn’t want to leave my dog in the cold while I shop” and “It’s too hot to leave the dog in the car”. First, if your dog was fine outside walking with you to the store, there’s no reason why it could stay out there for a bit longer. Second, it’s against the law to leave your dog in the car when it’s hot outside, and you can’t bring it into the store, so you might as well leave it at home while you go shopping.

Oh, and I just have to mention this, because it happened recently. A customer came into the store with his daughter and a Golden Retriever. They spent over an hour in the store, with the daughter browsing and the dad and dog sat in one spot the whole time. During this time the dog found some items on the floor where they had fallen from the shelves. What does the dog do? It chews the hell out of them. What does the owner do? Nothing. He had no reaction until it was noticed that the dog had eaten several items and he was told that he’d have to pay for the damaged goods. Whine whine whine… Total cost: 3euros…
If you bring a dog into a store and it breaks something, you’re responsible for covering for the damaged goods. Or you could have left the dog outside…

Remember, us humans domesticated animals in the first place, and if it weren’t for us, they’d still be roaming the great outdoors. So telling the clerk that your Husky can’t survive outside will be taken as a load of crap… Rules come first, then your love for your pet.

I’ll leave all you animal lovers to think about that…

Part 7: Disorderly Conduct

Moving away from specific groups of customers, here I’ll outline a shared characteristic which many undesirables share: disorderly conduct.

What is disorderly conduct? Quite simply, it’s any behavior which deviates from the norm, characterized by causing misery and annoyance in clerks and other customers alike.

I purposely chose such a general term as “Disorderly Conduct” to signify that this behavior is inherent in all kinds of customers. It doesn’t matter if you’re a little kid, a middle-aged drunk, or a senile grandma, you still have the capability to be obnoxious, annoying and rude.

As I’ve spent the last few days repeating myself when focusing on specific groups. Hence, today I’ll focus not on people and groups, but rather the actual behavioral habits.

There are many different kinds of negative means of conduct. A good way of measuring and classifying these said types of behavior, in my view, is by categorizing them in terms of volume, in the auditory meaning of the word.

Silent
Silent disorderly conduct is probably the most frustating yet only mindly annoying form of wrong behavior. Silent conduct is typically only present in two cases: when at the cash register or shoplifting.

At the cash register, some customers, when not satisfied with the service, for whatever reason, tend to demonstrate their frustrations quite quietly. It may be a misunderstanding, as it usually is, or it may be that the clerk has made a mistake and the transaction will go a bit slower. Or, the customer themselves has made a mistake and are pissed at the clerk for it.

The manner of behavior in these situations, silent in auditory terms, is nevertheless a nuisance. Muttering under your breath, whispering into your phone to another person, making dissatisfied sounds, or just staring at the clerk silently is not the way to go. What do expect us to do?

Being grumpy is not the most preferable or beneficial way of going about it. I’ll tell you the honest truth here: we’ll consider you a grumpy bitch or an asshole. I’m sorry if that offends you, but it’s the truth. There’s a better way of going about it, which I’ll specify later.

The other silent form of disorderly conduct, as I mentioned, is shoplifting. Won’t go too far with this one, because it’s evidently behavior which should be avoided at all times. If you’re a normal human being, that is.

If you’re shoplifting, it’s not in your best interest to be loud or even vocal about it, is it? As shoplifting is a form of disorderly conduct, it deserves a mention here, but not too much. I’ll go so far as issue a warning: there are security cameras, and the police will listen to every word we say in the instance of someone stealing from the store. You will be caught.

Moderate
This level of disorderly conduct encompasses most customers. Moderate is pretty much the normal level of speaking, it’s just how you use this tone.

Most customers use this tone of voice for their everyday conversing with clerks and whatnot. It’s, as I said, the tone of voice that use a moderate level of volume with. More so, the words you use.

I’ve noticed that people who use this tone of voice in complaining, or otherwise going about their business in a negative manner, have the most sense, compared to the other levels of disorderly auditory conduct.

If a customer has a problem and they use a normal tone of voice, in an effort to not make a scene, we as clerks feel more compelled to correct the wrongs and satisfy the customer.

In this tone of voice and level of volume, it’s more up to the words used. Swearing, no matter what the situation, is never called for. In silent mode, if there’s swearing involved, it’s atleast quiet. When using a moderate tone of voice, it’s directed directly at the clerk, and honestly, do we deserve to be sweared at while doing our job? We don’t come to your place of work and complain and swear at you, do we?

As the moderate tone is the most common, all types of spoken disorderly conduct are evident here. Yet, it’s all about how and what you say that makes difference. Think about what you say before you say it. Think to yourself: does the clerk really deserve to be treated like this?

Loud
Now this is where the going gets tough, if you accept that use of the quote. Oh, it’ll get worse, but let’s just focus on loud for now.

With loud, we’re starting to go beyond normal behavior and tone. Yeah, obvious, isn’t it? But really, when a customer walks into a store and is notifying people that he or she has a voice, that’s what we’re talking about.

This is also where alcohol first comes into the equation. And kids. First alcohol. These people in question here have had a bit to drink. Never sure how much, but regardless of that, whether or not they demonstrate that they have been drinking, it’s typically the volume of their speech, and the amount of disturbance they cause that’ll define whether or not they’ll be served alcohol.

Alcohol has the tendency to make people lose control of their voice levels, granted. I’m vocal under the influence of alcohol. So are most people. It’s just some situations where you’d better whip the alcohol into shape and take back control. A place of business is one of those places. If you want to be served alcohol, even if you’ve only had a few,keep your voice down. If you’re being loud, we’ll play it safe and assume you’re drunk.

Let’s proceed to the checkout counter, under the influence of a few beers. Here, if something doesn’t work, and you’re in a bad mood to begin with, your voice will rise, you’ll swear, you’ll be obnoxious, to an extend. Raising your voice at the clerk is the worst thing you can do. One, we won’t sell you alcohol. Two, we’ll call the security guard over to throw you out. Three, you’re really annoying and aren’t really achieving anything. Keep your voice down.

Kids. I would assume that with maturity also comes the ability to control your voice. Kids running, screaming and playing in a store is very, very disruptive. Everyone suffers except for the kids running around. And teenagers, they’re not any better. Still can’t control their voices. So I’ll give all kids and teenagers a little bit of advice: it’s a place of business, and you’re supposed to act appropriately. Running? Not allowed. Screaming? Not allowed. Playing games like hide and seek, catch, etc,? Not allowed. Anything you shouldn’t be doing at home? Not allowed. Pretty simple, isn’t it? If you have kids, TEACH THEM!

Extremely Loud
And finally, the worst of the general populace. Drunks, junkies, alcoholics, all fall into this category. So do many other people, grumpy people. I won’t go on about the drunks and the junkies because common sense would tell you how they behave. Instead, I’ll focus on the other extremely loud people.

If you’ve ever shouted at a clerk in a store, you fall into the same category of disruptive customers as the most undesirable people, such as junkies and drunks. Fun crowd to be in, isn’t it?

I didn’t think so…

So don’t do it! If something happens at the checkout counter that dissatisfies you, don’t start screaming. It happens everyday. The cash register doesn’t work. The barcode on some item doesn’t work. You forgot to weigh some fruit. The clerk presses the wrong button on the cash register, which is easy to do. Anything really. Have some bloody patience. There’s NEVER any reason to raise your voice and scream while in a store. NEVER!

So what can you do avoid disorderly conduct? Quite a few things actually. I’ll mention a few of the general things here:
-Don’t ever raise your voice.
-Shit happens. Deal with it like a normal human being.
-If the clerk won’t sell you alcohol, for whatever reason, accept it. There’s no going back after that, and we’re just doing it to stay on the safe side of the law.
-Walk, don’t run. There’s never any logical hurry.
-Keep your voice down at an acceptable level at all times.
-Avoid entering a store when drunk.
-Control your kids. Make sure they know how they should behave.
-Don’t argue with the clerk. Especially by screaming and swearing.
-If you have a complaint, either express in the form of constructive criticism or formally in writing.
-If you’ve had a bad day, don’t infect it upon others. Be considerate towards others.
-And finally, always consider this. How would you feel if someone came to your place of work or study and yelled at you? Wouldn’t be too nice, would it? So behave like you would like people to behave towards you.

Fairly simple, isn’t it? Yet, so many people forget these simple rules. Take them to heart, and act appropriately. Disorderly conduct is always uncalled for. ALWAYS…

I’ll leave you with a rule of thumb. While in a store, act like you would act at home, or how you would like people to act at your place. Do you want people screaming at you? Do you like people running around breaking stuff? Do you want to be threatened at home? No? So learn how to act in a store.

Part 8: Tips And Hints

Having spent so much time on things one should avoid doing while acting as a customer, I’ll take the opposite path this time around. Now, let’s look at the things customers can and should do to make the shopping experience pleasant and efficient for everyone involved.

I’ll divide this segment into 3 parts, namely Entering The Store, Within The Store, and Leaving The Store.

Entering The Store
Depending on the situation, one should ask themselves these few questions:
1) “Am I allowed to bring pets into this store?”
2) “Do I have everything I need, such as my wallet, ID, and enough money?”
3) “Am I in a good mood?”
4) “Do I have enough time to do all my shopping?”
5) “Do I know what time this store is closing?”
6) “Do I know act accordingly and appropriately in this store?”

If your answer to any of these simple questions is “NO”, you need to take a step back and think what would be the right course of action. Better yet, I’ll give you the answer right now, along with a short explanation:
1) Leave your pet outside to be on the safe side, or pop inside and ask what the practise is in that particular store.
2) If you’re planning on buying something, your money will come in handy (duh…). Go back home and get it. It helps everyone if you check this before you reach the checkout counter. Also, ID is required when purchasing alcohol or cigarettes if you look young and also when you pay for a large purchase with a bank or credit card. If the store has a bonus card, it would benefit everyone to have it with you, instead of coming back for the bonuses later. Sometimes, there is no later.
3) Naturally, it’s not that easy to switch from being in a bad mood to being in a good mood in the blink of an eye. If you happen to be in a rotten mood, please, atleast do your best to hide it while shopping. No one likes Mr. Cranky Pants.
4) Shopping in a hurry is the surest way to forget something and get into a bad mood. Take your time. If you have a bus to catch or some previous engagement, focus on what you really need and have time for.
5) The opening and closing times of a particular store can always be found on or near the front door. Referring back to the previous question, if the store closes in 15 minutes, you don’t have the time to do your entire week’s shopping in that time. Come earlier next time.
6) All stores are places of business and warrant a certain type of behavior. This has been the goal of me writing this piece on Consumer Etiquette. Learn the right way to act. If you still don’t know how to act, just act like you would in a respectable place, like a church, museum or as you would when a guest at someone’s house.

Before you enter a store, remind yourself that it is not a place where you can do just about anything. You are supposed to be essentially an esteemed guest, so act accordingly.

Within The Store
This section encompasses most of the time you will spend in a store, goes without saying.

This is also when you first come into contact with the staff. Treat them as you would like to be treated, as a human being. If you need assistance, ask for it politely. The staff is there to help you, all you need to do is ask. To ensure the best service, be polite and courteous. Nobody likes people yelling at them while at work, that’s what bosses are for.

If you can’t find someone to assist you, be patient. There are only so many people working at the store at a given time, and there aren’t always enough of up to go around, especially when it gets busy.

The shopping carts are for the items you’re planning on purchasing, not your kids or pets. (Unless the cart has a specific place to seat your kid in…) This is due to health regulations, and common sense. No one likes to put their food items where someone’s muddy shoes have been.

Weighing vegetables and fruit, if such is the procedure in your supermarket, is not really that difficult. Each items should have a corresponding scale number somewhere on the shelf next to it. Where it gets really difficult is when you forget to weigh something. Worst case scenario, the clerk has to get up from the checkout counter and run to the vegetable aisle and weigh the item(s) you forgot to weigh. In these situations there’s no use in complaining because it was your mistake. So, to avoid it, make sure all items that need to be weighed are weighed and have a barcode and price on them. Furthermore, as you put items into your shopping cart or basket, make sure the barcode and/or price tag are there and complete. This’ll make things go a lot smoother at the checkout counter. If an item you wish to purchase is missing the code, and you specifically want that item, also grab one that’s similar that has the code and price on it. For instance, if you’re wishing to purchase a blue shirt, but it doesn’t have the price tag on it, grab an identical green shirt as well, because we can take the price from that.

If you break something in a store, it might not be the end of the world, depending on the store. Large chains rarely make you pay for anything that you have accidently broken. Don’t really know what happens if you “accidently” drop a flatscreen television off the shelf… Word of warning though, if you’re acting like an asshole about it, you might end up paying. If you’re sincerely apologetic and sorry, we’d feel bad about making you pay for your little mishap. One of the worst things you can do is hide what you dropped and act like nothing happened. Um, we can hear the sound of it breaking, there’s no use of hiding it. Just remember that it’s not the end of the world.

Although I’m focusing on positive things today, I still have to touch upon the subject of shoplifting. If you see someone shoplifting, tell a clerk, immediately. We’ll remember that little show of goodwill.

Leaving The Store
Leaving the store begins as soon as you have collected all the items you are planning on purchasing and enter the line at the checkout counter.

First thing you need think about is whether or not you actually have ALL the items you need. It’s a little too late when you’re already at the checkout counter and it’s your turn. The people behind you in line will not be too happy, and they’re very likely to take out their frustrations out on the clerk. So we’d appreciate it if you’d have all your items picked out by the time it’s your turn to purchase them.

There’s a few simple things which A LOT of people forget to do, regardless of them being so simple, requiring very little effort, and they really accomplish quite a bit. Not sure if people forget or just feel like they don’t need to do it. Either way, think about it, how difficult is it to say “Hello”, “Thank You” and “Goodbye”? It’s really surprising how many people omit to do these simple things. It’s not that difficult, is it? So please, do try to always remember it. Even if you’re in a bad mood. It’s just a small gesture which goes a long way. Really.

When it’s your turn at the checkout counter, it would be very helpful if you would start packing your groceries as soon as they’ve been registered, especially if you’re buying several hundred euros or dollars worth of goods. It’s no use screaming at the clerk to the stop the conveyor belt just because you were slow to start packing. If we stop the conveyor belt, we can’t exactly keep serving other customers. In these situations, everyone suffers from your lazyness.

And here’s a final, all encompassing tip: learn how to act appropriately and how to polite to people. The honest truth is that we will talk trash about the customers who treat us badly or are a huge nuisance. It’s one of the ways we relieve stress. I’d assume you don’t want people talking about you behind you back, right? The best way to avoid this is by not being rude to the clerk, being patient, and by being understanding if everything doesn’t go smoothly. Pretty simple, huh?

Part 9: For The Workers

This section will not be a patronizing talk to people working in the service industry as we get enough of that from our supervisors as it is. Instead, I’ll run throw the rules and regulations in a more humane manner, focusing on how you the clerk can make your working day go a lot smoother and possibly even allowing for you to have some fun while on the job.

All the rules in place which we have to take to heart when we start working in customer service are in place to make the customers more important than the workers. It becomes very evident early on that the service industry is wholly focused making the customer feel welcome, relegating the worker to the status of a paid servant. This designation from the direction of management is dumbfounding, to say the least. You want the worker to be happy and cheerful, yet there isn’t much put into place to warrant this.

If the clerk is sincerely happy, doesn’t that make the whole customer-clerk interaction more desirable and effective? You can’t make the customer happy if the workers aren’t happy.

Some of the rules and regulations a clerk must take to heart when they begin work are ridiculous and completely devoid of compassion towards the worker. How are we to serve the customer well if we are to abide by such corporate slogans as “The Customer Is ALWAYS Right”, “The Customer Is Everything”, “Treat Every Customer Like Your Best Fiend”, and “Always, Be Sure To Have A Smile On Your Face”, slogans which belittle our own personas and feelings?
(If your place of work has another stupid slogan like the ones above, I wanna hear about it…)

I understand why these slogans and the related rules are in place. Stores are always in competition with each other over being the first choice for the customers. It’s business, I get it. Nevertheless, there’s a better way of going about this. Management, I’ll give you two alternatives, two different scenarios in customer service, you pick which one you’d want in place at your store:
Option #1: A customer walks into the store. There aren’t enough staff to help her out with something she’s being meaning to purchase. Instead of waiting to be served, she gathers up a few other items she needs and heads over to the checkout counter. Here, the clerk is tired, but still trying their hardest to be cheerful, an act everyone can see through. Atleast the clerk is trying, but it seems it’s forced and something the clerk must do. The customer leaves the store, reminding herself of next time maybe going to a different store.
Option #2: A customer walks into the store. Quickly she is approached by a member of the staff, offering assistance. The customer, with assistance, finally manages to find exactly what she was looking for. After collecting several items which she also needs, she progresses to the checkout counter, where she is greeted, genuinely, by the clerk. Upon leaving the store, the customer makes a positive mental note about the store.

If you picked Option #1, don’t change anything. This is the way it is in many stores today. If you picked Option #2, it’s time to review your operating procedure, rules and regulations. The first problem is understaffing. Having too few members of the staff present puts pressure on the ones on the job, as well as driving out customers who don’t like to be kept waiting (which is a large chunk of the consumer populace…). The behavior of the clerk, genuine or fake, is a direct result of two factors: personal wellbeing and job atmosphere. Working long hours with very few breaks in an easy way to make the clerks tired, possibly even grumpy. Enough with the strict rules telling us that the customer is way more important to you than we are. Not exactly the best working environment, is it? Loosen your grip on the workers, allow them more liberties, and you’ll see results. A clerk who actually likes coming to work is going to make a difference and put a smile on the face of the customers.

So the last thing I’ll say to management is this: take better care of your staff. A small wage hike, a few extra breaks, more freedom in choosing shifts, better hours and a looser atmosphere will go a long way. The customers will also notice that the clerks in your store are friendlier and happier than at the competitors’ stores.

Now that I’ve stated what many people in the service industry have wanted to say for a long time, I’ll move on to talking one on one with the workers.

Seeing as it’s unlikely that things are going to get any better at work just like that, you still need to do your job to make that money. Most of you aren’t in this job forever. That doesn’t mean that you can do the job halfassed. Below are a few things which will make your day flow a lot smoother. Keep in mind that these don’t apply to everyone and these are merely suggestions. It’s up to you to figure out what works best for you.

Forget what management told you.
No, seriously. The customer is not the most important thing, most definitely not more important yourself. But, this is still your job, and if there’s no customers, you don’t have a job. So what can you do? Forget all the ridiculous regulations which some suit in management has written. Bend the rules to suit yourself. (Notice: the rules I’m talking about refer only to the customer-clerk interaction part of your job, nothing else.)

Bring Your Personality To Work
Management wants you to be courteous and have humility, to be a service robot, essentially. Remember that you are dealing with other human beings while on the job. Although many customers demand a certain type of behavior from you, most customers don’t. It’s up to you to figure out what kind of treatment each customer wants.

It’s OK To Be Tired Or In A Bad Mood.
With limitations. You do want to keep your job, don’t you? If you yawn while with a customer, be sure to apologize quickly, possibly with a quirky little anecdote to explain your tiredness. Or just a sincere apology. No decent human being will be mad at you for yawning if you apologize. A bad mood is acceptable as long as you realize that you can’t show it to a customer.

Do As You’re Told, But Not Really.
Sure, you must abide by the house rules, but what harm can it cause if you add a personal little twist to them? Figure out different ways of greeting a customer. One can tell a lot from the tone of your voice. Engage in small talk with customers. Say good night to the last customer of the day, or say Bon Appetit to someone evidently just buying something quick to eat for lunch. The list goes on. Don’t take the rules as being cast in stone. They’re more like guidelines instructing you just how far you can go.

Be Professional But Human
Clerks are all supposed to be professionals, even on their first day. Atleast that’s what the customers and management seem to think. Most of us are not professionals, we’re just supposed to act like it. More importantly, don’t forget that you’re still a human being. If you make a mistake, so what? Human error… Just make sure you acknowledge your own mistakes and make amends.

Don’t Take Anything Personally
This is one of the few store rules or tips which I completely agree with. Well, more or less. Ok, not really. Apparently, when a customer is screaming his or her head off at you, you’re not supposed to take it personally as the complaints are directed at the store, not you. I’m sorry, have YOU ever had someone screaming at you at work, blaming YOU for being too slow, too stupid, and inefficient? How, if I may ask, are you supposed to not take that kind of verbal abuse personally? When a customer is screaming at you personally, complaining about something you have done or not done, you don’t have to take that kind of crap. Been in that situation once when a customer’s credit card didn’t work and he started blaming me, loudly, for breaking it. I remember being call a [censored] [censored] or something like that… Right course of action? Tell the customer to calm down or you’ll call security/police. There’s NEVER any excuse to scream at a clerk, so if someone does blame you directly, take it personally, but stay calm.

Dealing With Riff-Raff And Other Undesirables
You as fed up with this jolly bunch as I am? I thought so. So what to do? Be harsh and firm with them. It can be intimidating to do that, but try. If someone’s too drunk when they come into the store, show them the exit. You’re in charge now. This wouldn’t be a problem if stores spent a little more money on hiring more security guards. Now, the guards are there mainly to protect the goods, not the staff. Stores which don’t have a guard present at all times only get an extra guard AFTER something has been stolen. Fun, huh? The stores have insurance for both the workers and the items on sale, yet they feel like they’ll cut their losses by protecting the goods. Because of this, all you really should do is call the police. It’s not your personal stuff that gets stolen, and you really won’t get anything in return for apprehending a thief…

Dealing With Annoying Customers
Isn’t it wonderful how you get paid little, get treated as expendable by management and on top of it all, you have to be nice and apologetic to even the most annoying customers you come across? Think about this the next time you have an annoying, complaining customer: you haven’t done anything wrong to warrant such behavior and that customer will have a miserable life. You’re a better person than they could ever be. So smile, and think to yourself that they’re a worthless, inconsiderate human being. Learn from it. That’s who you don’t want to be. Don’t give them the satisfaction of ruining your day. You deserve better than that.

I have found ways for myself to enjoy working in customer service. I’ll be talkative, humane, joke around, basically put on a little show for each customer. (maybe I drink too much caffeine…) I’ve long ago figured out a system with which I can determine how a customer should be treated. One customer I might greet with a simple yet upbeat “Hi!”, whereas the next customer would receive a “Good Afternoon!” It’s all about appearances. You treat a customer judging by their appearances, and just as equally important is your own appearance in their eyes. I don’t feel like I’m working at all because I’ve found a way to have fun at work. Hey, only a few customers have ever complained about my behavior, and what do they know. So find out what the limits are to your behavior in the kind of store that you’re working in and push those limits.

You won’t be working in the same store your entire life, so make the most of it. It’s a learning experience, if nothing else. It also pays the bills.

If a customer receives bad service at a store, they’ll tell, on average, about 5-7 people about it and are likely not to aone back to the store. “I won’t go back to [store name] because I got really bad service there last time.”
If a customer receives great service, they’ll only tell a few people about it, but they’ll remember you specifically, and are very likely to come back just because you treated them well and they enjoyed their shopping experience. “I really like shopping at [store name]. The clerk there was really nice and funny.”

Be memorable in a good way, you’ll be rewarded in the end.

At the end of the day, there’s one key thing to remember: it’s just a job,..
So go and have fun with it and it won’t feel like a chore anymore!

Part 10: Summary

We have finally reached the conclusion of this essay on Consumer Etiquette. I once read somewhere that the conclusion is merely the point when the writer becomes tired of thinking and merely begins to recap what he or she has written. I’ll take a different approach.

The objective of this essay has been to educate consumers on proper etiquette, in other words how to behave in a store. In addition to containing dos and don’ts, I’ve offered customers a glimpse in what it’s like being on the serving end, on the other side of the cash register.

The service industry is one of the largest employers in any country, especially of young people finding financial independence. Occupations which entail an element of customer service are everywhere you look. There are literally millions of people out there, a sizable chunk of the populace who have, do or will work in customer service at some point in their lives. Grocery stores, supermarkets, taxis, buses, trains, gas stations, restaurants, fast food chains, bars, clubs, specialty stores, cafes, to name a few places where the staff engage in customer service. This essay has also been directed at you, to show you that what you put up with at work happens to all of us who have similar jobs.

As my personal customer service working experience is limited to fast food joints, grocery stores, supermarkets and a speciality store, I also wrote this piece in an effort the hear from other people who have experienced working in the service industry. If you have any stories or experiences about working in customer service, please, share them in the comments section. Also, if you notice that I have omitted to mention something here or an incorrect on something, let me know and I’ll be sure to correct my mistakes. Everyone who’s worked in customer service should have a story or an experience with an annoying customer. I’m not too picky, nor will I only listen to one side of the story, so if you have stories of times when you’ve received horrid customer service, let us know.

It is my firm belief that everyone should work in customer service at least at some point in their lives. I’d like to say that this would make the world a better place, but I’ll settle for believing that it would make people more understanding and considerate of others. Guess that would entail a better world, huh?

Has working in customer service made you a better person in any way?

It’s really been therapeutic to write this essay, being able to vent some frustrations and offer guidance to other people, should they choose to accept it. I’ll leave you with one last wisdom, a pretty self-evident one at that too…:

Everyone is a consumer…

If you have any comments, experiences or additions to this essay on Consumer Etiquette, please leave a comment! Thank you in advance!

Part Zero: Introduction [16.08.2007]
Part One: What You Might Not Know [17.08.2007]
Part Two: Everyday People [18.08.2007]
Part Three: Under The Influence [19.08.2007]
Part Four: Children And Their Parents [20.08.2007]
Part Five: Senior Citizens [21.08.2007]
Part Six: Animals [22.08.2007]
Part Seven: Disorderly Conduct [23.08.2007]
Part Eight: Tips And Hints [24.08.2007]
Part Nine: For The Workers [25.08.2007]
Part Ten: Summary [26.08.2007]

All the illustrations were drawn by Nora Piisku